I need to discuss something. Something that I’ve never seen discussed anywhere. Perhaps because all moms fear it so much they won’t even whisper the word, let alone discuss it with their friends…

What could strike such terror within the hearts of otherwise courageous and fearless women?
The fluke puke.

Ugh. Even typing it makes my arm hair stand up.
You are all doing your thing, and someone coughs. Then it comes. Puke. Ugh. Oh no. Is it a stomach virus? Are we going to be quarantined for a week? Or more?

But wait. There was a cough. Your eyes open wide. Maybe it was just the fluke puke.
On one hand, fluke pukes are awesome. It means there won’t be vomit everywhere. It means you may actually get to go in that mom’s night out that you have been planning for months.
But.
And there’s a big but.
The fluke puke is so terrifying because you just don’t know. You’ll live next 24 hours in fear. Any time your kid makes a quick moment your heart sinks and you say to yourself, “Welp. There’s that. He’s going to barf his BRAT diet everywhere.” But then there’s nothing. Maybe you just got lucky though. Every sad face, “Yep. Here it comes. Banana puke.” But nope, he’s just whizzed that Mickey Mouse is over. Do you go anywhere? What if he pukes all over the grocery store? Do you chance it? Do you TELL ANYONE?! What if they treat you like you have the plague? Oh you know it’s coming. If you even mention puke people go running for the hills.
Ugh. The Fluke Puke. It’s almost just as bad as the stomach bug.

This year I’m actually doing the half marathon! I’m scared out of my mind. I’ve been having dreams about it. Ask my friends, it’s basically all I can talk about.

But for this mama, 13.1 is a long, long way. Coming from a point where I couldn’t do a mile in under 17 minutes to my last training session doing 10 in 15 minute miles I’ve come a long way. That doesn’t take the fear away… but I know I’m preparing as much as I can.

The truth is, I would have never done this on my own. I wouldn’t have sought out to do it if it weren’t for one thing: Sophie & Madigan’s Playground. This charity is close to my heart because it was formed after my best friend’s daughters passed in a house fire in January of 2013. Their passing spurred their family to come up with the idea of a huge playground to be built in Frederick, MD for families to come together and make memories that will last a long time. I say it a lot, but it’s the truth… sometimes memories are all you have. That’s why this park is so important. Not only that though, the charity seeks to help families to play, learn and create. We’ve held a ton of amazing events with that focus. To help families create long lasting memories.

So as I get each mile under my shoes, I try to remember why I’m doing it. When I don’t want to, when it’s too cold out, when I’m exhausted I look down and remember Sophie and Madigan. Sophie’s laugh. Madigan’s love for babies (including Max). The way they played with the boys. I don’t want to let them down. Each mile is important.

If you so feel called, please consider a donating to Sophie & Madigan’s Playground. My goal this year was a very lofty 6,000 but I’ll be happy about any cent raised for this cause.

http://www.sophieandmadigansplayground.org/runnerprofile.php?r_id=241&race=4

Recently I was asked to write a blog on parenting and family.

At first I really wasn’t sure what I could write about. Maybe our family closet? Or maybe how I handle four crazy boys? Or maybe how I try to keep my house clean? None of it sounded terribly exciting…

And then I was in Target with Max and he had no pants on and was sticking his feet out of the cart. Aha! The Honey Badger Parenting was born!

You can read the article on my friend Maggie’s blog here: http://www.beingonpurpose.me/#!Guest-Post-Honey-Badger-Parenting/c1rfl/CF91AF13-B79F-4256-9AE7-452AE1FB5C3A

As many of you know, I use an SNS to feed my babies due to insufficient glandular tissue. Today I made a video tutorial on how I use it.

Check it out!
Sns Tutorial

This is the story of my third kiddo’s birth. It was a crazy situation but turned out pretty amazing.

I feel as if this story begins before the night I went to the hospital. My first child, Riley, who was born when I was only 19. I knew very little of birth. I knew very little of the world, really. I was induced on my due date because of… well… there was no reason. I didn’t have any idea what it even really meant. All I knew was that I was going to have a baby. I had a fast but incredibly intense pitocin induced birth. He came so fast that I was unable to have an epidural. This opened my eyes to the idea of what birth out of the norm could be like. I’m glad I felt it. It sparked an interest in birth. Fast forward to my second. I had read and read but was still not confident in my choices. I still thought that what the doctor said would go. I was induced for a second time. I went through that birth without an epidural as well, but I knew there had to be more. After discussion upon discussion, reading book after book, talking to mom after mom I knew that midwifery care was for me. I knew that I could have the birth experience that so many women had, where they felt empowered to birth.

I woke up out of dead sleep on Thursday, Thanksgiving, night. I was 37 weeks and 5 days with my third child, having had contractions for weeks on end. But this felt different. I was in so much pain I couldn’t control myself. I knew something was wrong. The pain wasn’t contractions, there was no rhythm it was constant. Jeremy called the midwife who said it sounded like a kidney stone. I agreed. She suggested a warm bath. Over the next two hours I tried everything. Tylenol, hot compress, shower, birth ball, walking, laying down, but the pain got worse. I sent my friend Chrissi a text to see if she had any suggestions. Eventually I decided the pain was too bad and I needed to head to the hospital. I’m so glad now we went to where I was delivering instead of the closest hospital. My poor hubby had taken Tylenol pm that night because of a bad headache. He never takes anything so it hit him pretty hard. Chrissi offered to come get me and take me to the hospital. I was in so much pain I began vomiting as we pulled in after the 30 minute ride.

They took me into triage and gave me pain medicine. It took hours to get the pain to even a manageable point. I was in pain after only an hour or two of the larger doses of demerol. Once morning came, one of the midwives, Paula, came to talk to me. Her recommedation was that I be induced because the large amount of pain medicine could be dangerous for the baby if continued. While they were pretty sure it was kidney stone, the problem may have been baby placement which the birth would relieve. I was given some options and after a lot of discussion with everyone we decided to go ahead and have a gentle induction. The options included: Going home with percocet and hope the pain went away, get an epideral & pitocin and go into labor, attempt to deal with the pain & take phentanol as needed and be induced with a cook’s catheter and low level pitocin. I chose the cook’s catheter and low level pitocin. While it was not what I wanted, at that point I had been in so much pain that I was very fearful of heading home and trying to mask the pain with percoset. This is where I feel that midwifery care really helped me. Had I had a doctor that wasn’t interested in my wishes, they would have pushed much harder for a hard induction. Paula was respectful of my wishes, knowing that even if I couldn’t have the natural birth I wanted, I had choices and that was one of the most empowering times.

At about 2:30pm I got my last dose of phentanol for the kidney pain and they inserted a cooks catheter. I was already 3cm and 70 percent effaced and had been taking evening primrose oil to soften my cervix for a few weeks. They put me on a low dose of pitocin as well. After about an hour I was able to get up. I rolled a ton on my birth ball while listening and laughing at my birth playlist, which included “You’re Having My Baby” from the Glee soundtrack. Then I went to the bathroom and the catheter came out! My midwife checked me and I was already 6-7 cm! The midwife asked if I wanted my water broken, and since I was already 6-7 I said yes. She went ahead and broke my water. I allowed her to break my water because I had a feeling that if my water was broken, the baby would arrive quicker and that would allow me to avoid upping the pitocin or more medical interventions. I couldn’t believe I had progressed so quickly and really was in relatively low amounts of pain. This experience was already 100 times better than my previous inductions. I truly feel like it was because of the huge amount of support that I had. Decisions that were made were mine. They were informed, supported, well thought out decisions. And I was surrounded both physically and emotionally by people who loved me, both in the room and from afar. Also, I was encouraged to move with the pain, I was encouraged to moan, hum, or anything else that would help me move through the pain. My midwife was very encouraging to do what felt best to me. She helped me to know that this was my experience and to not be embarrassed by my more primal side.

I got back on my ball to move him lower into my pelvis. We continued to roll with each contraction until my midwife suggested getting in the tub. At first I said I’d rather get in the shower but after one contraction while standing I knew it would be too painful. I rushed to the toilet because I knew so many women who found some pain relief from sitting on the toilet. While I had a couple of contractions on the toilet, Chrissi filled the tub and I got in. The water was so refreshing and calming. This is when I think the contractions got very intense. I started really vocalizing them. Working through each contraction with humming, o’hhing. Jeremy sat in the bathroom and held my hand as each contraction peaked. Knowing he was there and encouraging me was so beautiful to me. Near the 5th or 6th contraction I remember talking to Maddox. Reassuring him that the world wasn’t scary, that I could hold and love him outside the womb and he would be safe. Within another contraction I started feeling a little pushy so out of the tub and onto the bed. My midwife trusted that I knew what my body was doing. I was about 9 cm and the midwife encouraged me that I could push and she’d pull the cervix aside if needed. I pushed but knew he wasn’t quite there. As they got ready I knew he’d be here soon. I had been in so much pain from the kidney stone that I was afraid my body couldn’t handle the pain of pushing. I was afraid that my birth had been so fast that the pushing stage may be hours. But I was able to let go of that pain and within two contractions and pushes he was born into the world at 5:40pm, only about 3 or 4 hours since the start. This experience was so much better than my previous inductions. This felt so much closer to what birth should be like. While I know it wasn’t completely natural, for me I was able to get a lot of what I wanted. I was able to move, laugh, cry, get in the tub, vocalize. After the birth it was everything I wanted. He was placed directly on my chest. He snuggled with me and was able to latch on right away. His cord was able to pulsate and I was able to bask in the first precious moments of his life. It was truly love at first sight.
Right afterward, Antonette, a friend & doula, came to come get the placenta. I’m so thankful because the placenta pills were amazing They helped so much with the postpartum depression I was so afraid that would engulf this amazing experience. I was moved to the post partum room quickly after that. Then, I was sent for a CT scan where they found both of my kidneys have stones in them. The kidney pain went away shortly after the induction started. After the birth I had to have uretal stints put in. After further investigation I had 13 kidney stones, one that was lodged in my ureter and had to be taken care of.

While my birth wasn’t perfect, it was the best birth I could have had under the circumstances, and truly changed me as a mother. My bond with Maddox is unbreakable. It is as strong as the contractions were that brought him to me. I am so thankful for all the women who helped me to achieve this bond.

Wow! I have been a busy doula this summer and I love it! Attending all these beautiful births has just hammered in that I am called to this! I really have loved it.

I’ve attended three births since I last posted, each of them special and wonderful in their own way. I love this!!

And a reminder, although I am on maternity leave coming in August, I am still continuing to take prenatal clients up until I am too exhausted to think 😉 What does this entail? Well here’s a quick description:

Prenatal meet up – 2-3 hours – This time will help you to process your thoughts and feelings about your upcoming birth. We can work on birth art, discuss, role play, whatever you believe will be the most helpful for you to obtain the birth you feel you would like. We will go over a birth choices plan, with various scenarios.

This has been extra popular with c section mamas! So often we don’t think of the choices we have when it comes to c sections, but they are there! I love helping any mom to feel that her birth was her own… so please contact me if you’d like to set up an appointment.

Little Miss

and Mr.